Two months with no blogging.
And today, I feel like a different person.
So I'm starting a different blog.
This post documents my mental turn-around,
the realisation of the importance for my fight for a healthy life.
And this blog will document, from the beginning, my journey of a healthy/happy life as a stay-at-home-mum.
My History: (maybe you can relate?)
Over the years, (13 now) I've been living with a VERY strong desire (I would have said "dedication") to get to a healthy weight, but with absolutely no long-term follow-through.
Yes, there were months when I did lose weight,
(actually a whole year in 2008, I got within 8lbs of goal weight!)
and there were weeks, and days, when I did awesome!
But in between, through the binges, bad choices, and bad food that always found their way into my life,
I always felt the twinge of guilt.
So I'd jump "back on the wagon" in hopes to try again, get it right.
But in between, every single time, I'd gain it all back.
And the desire of weight-loss never ever left my consciousness,
And it was driving me crazy!
Living life half-assed is just plain stupid.
Making half-assed efforts is just plain stupid.
It's a waste of time, effort, and (probably most importantly):
It ruined my emotional stability.
I finally got SICK AND TIRED of talking/thinking/planning/writing/blogging about losing weight,
but not actually freaking doing it!
I got to the point, where I had to make a decision.
I was slowly driving myself crazy on this yo-yo diet!
I was like, well, if I cannot overcome this, get my ass in gear, and actually live a weight-loss/healthy lifestyle, then WHY OH WHY am I beating myself up over it?!
Why not just accept the fact that I am happy eating fatty foods, whatever I want, with no restriction, no guilt.
I am happy with my weight as it is (15kg extra).
And I can never be truly happy unless I stop driving myself crazy with guilt about not trying to lose weight.
So I did the unthinkable.
Something I promised myself long ago that I'd never ever do.
In the name of sanity,
I gave up trying to lose weight.
Totally and completely GAVE UP!
And boy, today I know that I was totally wrong!
But without those 3 weeks (and 4kg gain) of indulgence,
in the end I don't think I could have made the right decision.
Now I realise and know without doubt that:
Health IS worth fighting for!!!
So what turned me around?
What led me to a complete re-start?
After the "indulgence" period last month,
I got to a point where I barely fit into anything!
I realised I was gaining mega weight, and nothing fit properly.
I was on the verge of having to go shopping, in the *gulp* "big" section!!!
THAT is NOT who I am.
THAT is NOT who I want to be.
I don't want to hate what I see in the mirror.
No amount of good food is worth that!!!
Right now, today, I have accepted myself, my whole self, including a truly completely healthy lifestyle.
I am an exerciser!
I make healthy food choices.
I eat limited amounts of food (ie portion control).
Sometimes I get hungry - and guess what -
THAT IS OKAY!
Being hungry is normal!
I don't have to freak out and feed myself.
I can wait a few hours... I'm not bloody starving!
And no, finishing off the entire dish of this sinfully delicious take-away food is NOT THAT IMPORTANT!
Save it for later, or if (heaven knows that I used to always worry about this!) my husband or kids finishes it off so I can't have leftovers for lunch the next day, I know that I can get more next week or two, or even tomorrow if I really really want!
But right now, I'm not bloody starving!
And if I eat any more, I'll just keep being fat.
And I don't want that.
And another point- I am WAY too busy to be worrying about cooking/eating/meal-planning all the time.
Food is for strength, not for building my whole dang life around!
So now, in short, I have found a true perspective on food.
Food is not going to make me happy, long-term.
It's not going to help me be WHO I want to be.
So there it is.
And here I am.
I last week I reached 78.9kg (that's 174lbs)
Today 78.0 (after one week of health, 172lbs)
And here on this blog, I will document how I'm doing, why I'm doing, and definitely some family tips.
After all, healthy living with three kids is never easy!!!
I'm here to help those of you mum's who realise that your health IS important.
It's worth fighting for!
I hope you enjoy the journey!
And I hope you get inspired to make the ultimate decision.
Fight for your health!!!