Finding health... ha

After two good weeks, I spent this week in bad health.
Considering I've been teaching snotty-nosed kids to swim for 5 1/2 months now, I'm surprised it took that long to pick something up!
I only called in sick one day, so had to endure it all week.
I learned something:
Head-colds and swimming don't mix.
It's miserable!
On top of that, my shoulder has Bursitis.
It's easily fixed with an injection of Cortizon, or so my doctor said.
But after yesterday's shot, my shoulder hurts worse than it did before!
Before I could at least function, it was just a dull pain, an irritant.
Now, I have to be very careful which way I lift my arm or I get sharp pain.
I'm hoping it's just because of the needle, which will heal in a couple days.
I hope I hope I hope!

Diet.
Today I have a few hours during the day.
I'm going to plan meals for a few scenarios (day schedules) that I can foresee.
Back-up plans too.
I need to do this for real.
Tired of back-tracking after something irregular pops up.

Exercise.
Eh..... not so good. That's okay, I'm working on it :)

Waking up from Winter Hibernation

I have been very quiet on blogger,
very active in life.
After gaining over 15 lbs this winter (by being a couch potato with my sister, don't regret a moment!)
I've now decided to start making the most of this life.

I now teach swimming at three different pools,
about 16 hours a week, broken up into 7 shifts, 6 days a week.

I am also on 3 different volunteer committees at the kids primary school.
1. Playground (we're building a new one)
2. Library (we're upgrading the old one)
3. Garden (there's 4-7 major projects coming up in the next two years).

And last, but certainly not least, I'm losing weight!
Actually quite funny, I'm following in Annie, the Amazing Shrinking Girls' footsteps, and building muscle!
My old Bootcamp trainer, Brad, has earned his official "MP Trainer" certificate.
It's all about building muscle so your metabolism burns energy.
It also includes eating 6 meals a day, each meal including a balance of carbs, protein & omega-3 fats.
Which type of carb (there's a list) depends on when you work-out, and what type of work-out you preform.
Pretty much, I'm cutting out breads and high-GI carbs for every meal unless it's 3 hours after a Resistence Training (weight-lifting) session.

So far (1 week) I've lost 3 lbs!
Silly me was pretty disappointed about day 4 with what felt like no results.
Today I'm feeling it in my slightly-looser clothes! YAY!

So there it is. My busy life in a nutshell.
I'll check in at least weekly and let you know how I'm going.
In the mean time, if you want to find a MP trainer in your area click here.
It's working for me :)

Dear diary

Dear diary:

Just spent the last couple of hours "In the zone".
At first, I was determined to set up one thing: A work-out appointment schedule with myself.
Check.
But I have this niggly feeling that there's more...
So I've done it...
Fasting here I come.
To God be The Glory.

PS. Just realised that big fat Tuesdays are popular with posting lately! Thinking about keeping it that way... Weekly Tuesday posts... Hmmmm... Sounds too good to be true :)

Exercising Consistently! Go me :)

Funny.
Usually I avoid blogging when I'm not doing well with my health and exercise efforts.
This time, I've just been busy.
Busy with work, and with exercise!
I have also been very conscious about what goes into my mouth.
I've been exercising every second day.
I feel so much more fit, even though the scale won't budge.
I've started lifting weights again, in hopes that more muscle mass will increase my metabolism.
Then I won't have to count calories, or decrease my meal sizes.
Just make better food choices, and keep exercising!
Consistency is working this time, I just need to keep up the momentum.
Cheers!

Difficult Tattoo

I just finished my Week 2, Day 1 C25K!
I was born for running.
I did enjoy the gym, but to be honest, it did become a chore.
But each and every time I decide to run - I find Joy!
I can't help but smile at friendly faces, blossoming Spring trees, and the gently breeze along the Brisbane River.
I can't help but feel
Blessed.
Free.
Loved.

I've also decided that I will be successful in my weight-loss effort, if I put just as much time in my life, if not more, for God.
I refuse to make this about more "me-time".
I love Christ, and He deserves to have me-time too.
So, I've been reading my Bible nightly.
I started going to church again.
I've been giving my kids bible study & conversation time each morning.
And I've been contemplating the design of my new tattoo.
Yes, that's right - Tattoo.

"Everything is difficult before it gets easy."

This quote certainly pertains to running.
And also to this tattoo!
This tattoo is proving to be more difficult than it should be.
I've wanted another one for a very long time - 10 years in fact.
But it has to be just right, meaningful, and beautiful.
I only have one card-sized one, a flower, on my ankle.
It was pain that was difficult to bear.
But I do love it - even 11 years on, still love it.
And I figure, nothing compares to the pain Christ bore for me.
I can do this.

This tattoo will be on my back left shoulder.
Over my heart (on my back).
For a long time I had my heart set on a tree design.
A tree with deep roots.
Rooted in Christ "planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers." - Psalm 1:3.

I was nervous about this tattoo idea, because it would have to be perfectly drawn - beautiful.
It would imagine that a tree would be rather difficult to make beautiful.
I'd imagine it being described more as "pokey" and "stick-like", rather than "beautiful".
 I kept thinking, and praying.

This week, I've come across a better idea.

I've always wanted this tattoo to be large, and a testimony for Christ.
How about a bible verse...
But which one?
I searched them all...
Google image search for "Bible verse tattoo"
But in the end, it was God who lead me to the right verse during a late night Bible flick.

I know that my Redeemer lives. Job 19:25

I'll find a fancy font, and add some artistic flavour with a Cross and perhaps a flower.
Or a flower-y Cross.
:)

I'll let you know!

Much better today.

Today was definitely better.
Still no exercise, but much better food choices.
8am Home-made bacon and egg sandwich for brekky.
Then "work" at the pool ;)
11am snack: Picnic peanut bar... not really a good choice, but it could have been another Hungry Jacks incident, so I'm not going to feel too guilty over this...
1:30pm Subway swch (6") & 2 handfuls of potato chips for lunch.
On the road all afternoon.
6:30pm Chicken quesadillas (home-made) and garden salad for dinner.
3 beers with dinner.
Going to bed.
Tomorrow: Stradbroke Island!

Tuesday's Shame

Here's my first "Honesty Blog Post".

Today, I didn't eat breakfast.
Then I had...
*Deep Breath*
{I do NOT want to admit this,
 but I have to be honest with myself, and out loud if I want to move on}
Then, for lunch, I went to Hungry Jacks (that's Burger King guys).
I had a Whopper Meal, with medium "chips" (fries) and a Diet Coke.
LOL Diet?.... Freakin' Hell...

Then I went home, and finished off a bag of corn chips from yesterday.
30 minutes later I ate the rest of a white chocolate bar my mom bought me (thanks mom).
Now I'm now on my 3rd beer.

This week (right now) my kids are spending 3 nights with my mother and mother-in-law....
So my husband and I are going out to the movies tonight.
So I was just getting ready.
And I'm wearing my glasses, instead of my contacts,
So I hate my face.
And my hair is pretty crap, as I'm in chlorinated water 6days/week.
And the last haircut was over 6 months ago.
And my pants don't fit.
I'm trying to sort out a long enough shirt so I can wear my jeans undone, covered with a big-ass (literally) belt.
I should be... I'd be comfortable a size 16-18.
I weigh 184 lbs.
I did absolutely NO exercise today.
Or yesterday.
Or last week...
HELL... I cannot remember the last formal bit of work-out I've done this year!
Probably June... perhaps May... April?

How's that for honest.

Honesty

I can no longer be okay with re-starting this weight-loss journey every single morning.

Each day I resolve to "Be Good".
And that's perfectly good, up until lunch.
Then it's over.
Binge-city.

And, did you notice?
(I noticed.)
All of my blog posts are in the morning.
"Today, is a new day...."
"Here's the plan for this week...."
"I have a new plan and it's going to work..."

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Today I'll start again...
But I'm not going to write about what I will do (later)...
What I'm gonna do today...
In an hour...
In a week....
Later on....
Someday....

Instead, I have to be honest!
Honesty... the only way out.

My Turning Point

This morning, I've found my last chance.
Still rising on the scale, I saw photo's of myself this weekend.
I recognise that face - from 1999.
That was when I weighed 185lbs.
The same as I weigh today.
I have looked back on pictures from 1999, and I've said repeatedly to myself,
How could I have let myself get that big?
And now, here I am.
I've let go,
and here I am.

This morning I have to work,
but I had an extra hour.
I had a sinfully yummy dessert in the fridge from the weekend.
"Old" (aka. current) thinking told me "I'll just have some of that for breakfast, even though it's not a breakfast food, that's what I want. Yum!"
I fought that awful thought with all my might.
I eventually had victory.
I ate 2 slices of plain toast (no butter ;)
1 1/2 eggs (1 whole, + egg white)
1/3 cup baked beans (an Aussie breakfast - took 5 years, but I'm used to it now)
Seasoned with chives and tobasco sauce ;)
295 Calories.

I don't care how hard it is, I will fight with all my might for a clean week.
Even if I find myself in a situation where we're at a restaurant,
I'll first, make good choices.
Second, I'll stop eating, NOT when I'm full, but when I'm no longer hungry.
I'll slowly chew my food, and drink lots of water.
I'm confident that this is my turning point.

Only Then

So you're manipulating me?

STOP telling me what to do!

God knows me.

Only HE knows the way of My life.

I will do what HE tells me, and then
- ONLY THEN -
will I be happy.

I love Jesus.

Goals for this week

I want to cry.
My pant's don't fit.
:(
Poor me.

Whatever.
I've been teaching kids to swim now for a couple weeks.
And I LOVE IT!

But I did have to get a couple new swim-suits.
Size... gulp.... 16! They're a bit loose, but 14's would have been uncomfortable.
Crap.

Today I (finally) ate sensibly, and felt great!
Not hungry either.
But tomorrow is another day.

Goals for this week:
Lose 2 lbs
Exercise 4 times
Eat carrots and 1 apple daily (sounds funny, but it works for me! It makes me feel healthy.)
Lean protein at each meal - not religiously, but at least think about it, and try my best.

That's it.

Baby steps.

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

You know how I mentioned that I couldn't stop smiling while I was getting certified for Learn-to-Swim teaching?

Yesterday was even better!!!

It was so good that I'm up and awake at 5am just busting to write this post!

So, Sunday night after Swim-Teach course was finished, I got busy.
Resume... Check!
Gumtree job-search... Check!
Seek.com... Check!
8 Emails sent for jobs... Check!

Okay. Now we wait...

Called Jo, my boss at NFSS School Swim.
Got my schedule sorted for that job.
Here's my After-school schedule starting Term 4:
Monday - teach kids Gardening Course.
T, W, Th - After-school swim teaching 3-5
Friday - girls dance class across town.
Check.
So that's 6 hours of work.
Now I need a day-time job!
But not, like ALL day! When would I clean?
Heaven forbid I have to hire help!
BAHAHAHAHA.... Now THAT would be a dream come true!

I digress...

SO, 1pm. Phone call!
Missed it! DANG IT! What if it's a job?
Wait for it... yup. They've left a message.
Check Messages.
WHAT? There's 3? WHY PHONE WHY?
Why won't you give me messages until week(s) later?
Oh, okay, they're all old messages. Of course.
Except the last one!
YUP. It was a job :( Crap!
Call back.

The phone call was HILARIOUS!
And LUCKY!!!

Sandra is super nice!
It's a pre-school swim school. Babies to 5yo.
Year-round, Indoor, HEATED pool!
YES YES YES YES YES!
And they're hiring for a 9am to Noon shift!!!!
YES!!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!
Wait... if I work for them, I'm not allowed to work anywhere else.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
But my other job is 5-12yo... after-school swim program, not learn-to-swim...
Oh... let me ask the owner if that's okay.
..........................










Yup. No problem!
YES YES YES YES YES!
Then they can provide my training hours too!!! YES!
Can you come in tomorrow for a trial swim? YES!
She asks me to come in from 5-9.
Wait... 5am!?!?!?????
WHAT?
I clarified "5AM?"
She laughed. No, like 5 to 9... 8:55!
Bahahaha.... we both had a good laugh.
Then she explained that they have uniform T-shirts, and they have an extra one I can borrow tomorrow.
She says, "Under the T-shirst some of the girls wear board shorts, some of them wear nothing..."
WHAT? NOTHING?
We both start laughing again!
"That is NOT what I meant" she says. "I meant like swimsuits, no shorts!"
"Not Nothing"
BAHAHAHAHAHA.....
It's ALWAYS good when you are laughing straight through an interview phone call!!!

STOKED!!!!

Oh yeah! AND 10yr old and I got up at 6:45 yesterday (which seemed super early, HA)
and went on our very first jog of the season!
Mostly walking, but we did jog a bit on the down hills ;)
Running again. Very happy :)
Running and swimming. Love my life :)

Okay... lot's to do.
Have a good one!
I know I'll have a good day at my first. new. job. in over 5 years!!!!

Key: Love your Life!

I've really found my groove.
And even though nothing has really changed, I have will power!

Dear Will Power:
Where did you come from?
Where were you all this time?
PS. You're late!

The only thing I can figure is that I have finally started to love my life again!
I've been in limbo, with no real direction for so long,
and now, Life is Beginning!

First, I've started piano lessons!
For myself!
(I must clarify this to everyone I say this too, because they automatically assume that I've enrolled my children. Nope. I'm the one in lessons!)
I played piano from the age of 5 until about 13.
Then I gave up in lieu of guitar.
Of course, I wanted to be "That cool guitar chick".
I still play. Both.
But my piano is terribly rusty. (Oh, okay, so is my guitar playing.)
But now, I'm in LOVE!
Piano is awesome.

Second, I'm getting accredited to teach swimming lessons!
I spent all day at Goodna Aquatic Centre with Brad the instructor and 11 other soon-to-be swim teachers.
Back again tomorrow.
Two and a half hours in the pool today.
Talk about wrinkly hands and dry skin! *Note to self: invest in really good skin lotion!*
I couldn't stop smiling all day, and still can't stop!
I LOVE my life!
While other people are going back to work, study, or being a house wife,
I will be spending my days in the pool!
Such is the Brisbane lifestyle :)

Consequently, I'm eager to get fit!
I easily....
AHEM... not-so-easily
resisted the urge for fast food on the way home.
Then I resisted the urge for an unnecessary snack.
And even though I was starving come dinner time, I ate slowly and sensibly!
And stopped when I should.

I impress myself :)

Third, it's Spring!
I have been happily attending to my garden.
This is the year I change my gardening priorities.
Instead of 85% veg, 15% flowers,
This year it's 50/50.
Because while growing and eating veg brings nutrition and excitement,
my flowers bring me unmeasurable joy!

And lastly, I've found a new jogging partner!
My 10-year old son.
We did a 5km fun-run last year - a year ago tomorrow.
The annual Bridge to Brisbane is here, and I never even thought about it :(
I asked my son if he wants to start training for another 5k...
He's excited!

As of Monday we have a beginners schedule:

Monday morning.
Wednesday evening.
Saturday morning.

3 days, a simple-to-stick-to plan.
No excuses.

I am officially fighting for my health.

A Conveinent Truth, Ready to Fight

Another 2 months... Another 6 kg.
I've made it back to my all-time fat weight.
80KG.
That's 176 lbs.
My clothes don't fit.
My body is weak.
My fitness is poor.
It's ridiculous.

So why did I let myself get this way?
Convenience.
My sister had a mere 7 weeks left in Australia.
So I decided to let my health take a back seat...
Actually, I threw it out the bloody window!
We drank, ate, and watched TV.
But I really don't regret it, because the time I spent with my only sister was amazing.
We developed a bond that will never be broken.

But now she's gone. Back to the states.
And I'm ready to FIGHT!

At this weight, the most I can do is bloody walk.
How sad.
I'll get on the bike as well.
One day at a time.

Health IS worth fighting for!!!

Two months with no blogging.
And today, I feel like a different person.
So I'm starting a different blog.

This post documents my mental turn-around,
the realisation of the importance for my fight for a healthy life.

And this blog will document, from the beginning, my journey of a healthy/happy life as a stay-at-home-mum.

My History: (maybe you can relate?)
Over the years, (13 now) I've been living with a VERY strong desire (I would have said "dedication") to get to a healthy weight, but with absolutely no long-term follow-through.
Yes, there were months when I did lose weight,
(actually a whole year in 2008, I got within 8lbs of goal weight!)
and there were weeks, and days, when I did awesome!
But in between, through the binges, bad choices, and bad food that always found their way into my life,
I always felt the twinge of guilt.
So I'd jump "back on the wagon" in hopes to try again, get it right.
But in between, every single time, I'd gain it all back. 
And the desire of weight-loss never ever left my consciousness,
And it was driving me crazy!

Living life half-assed is just plain stupid.
Making half-assed efforts is just plain stupid.
It's a waste of time, effort, and (probably most importantly):
It ruined my emotional stability.


I finally got SICK AND TIRED of talking/thinking/planning/writing/blogging about losing weight,
but not actually freaking doing it!
I got to the point, where I had to make a decision.
I was slowly driving myself crazy on this yo-yo diet!


I was like, well, if I cannot overcome this, get my ass in gear, and actually live a weight-loss/healthy lifestyle, then WHY OH WHY am I beating myself up over it?!
Why not just accept the fact that I am happy eating fatty foods, whatever I want, with no restriction, no guilt.
I am happy with my weight as it is (15kg extra).
And I can never be truly happy unless I stop driving myself crazy with guilt about not trying to lose weight.

So I did the unthinkable.
Something I promised myself long ago that I'd never ever do.
In the name of sanity,
I gave up trying to lose weight.
Totally and completely GAVE UP!

And boy, today I know that I was totally wrong!

But without those 3 weeks (and 4kg gain) of indulgence,
in the end I don't think I could have made the right decision.

Now I realise and know without doubt that:
Health IS worth fighting for!!!


So what turned me around?
What led me to a complete re-start?

After the "indulgence" period last month,
I got to a point where I barely fit into anything!
I realised I was gaining mega weight, and nothing fit properly.
I was on the verge of having to go shopping, in the *gulp* "big" section!!!
THAT is NOT who I am.
THAT is NOT who I want to be.
I don't want to hate what I see in the mirror.
No amount of good food is worth that!!!

Right now, today, I have accepted myself, my whole self, including a truly completely healthy lifestyle.
I am an exerciser!
I make healthy food choices.
I eat limited amounts of food (ie portion control).
Sometimes I get hungry - and guess what -
THAT IS OKAY!
Being hungry is normal!
I don't have to freak out and feed myself.
I can wait a few hours... I'm not bloody starving!

And no, finishing off the entire dish of this sinfully delicious take-away food is NOT THAT IMPORTANT!
Save it for later, or if (heaven knows that I used to always worry about this!) my husband or kids finishes it off so I can't have leftovers for lunch the next day, I know that I can get more next week or two, or even tomorrow if I really really want!
But right now, I'm not bloody starving!
And if I eat any more, I'll just keep being fat.
And I don't want that.

And another point- I am WAY too busy to be worrying about cooking/eating/meal-planning all the time.
Food is for strength, not for building my whole dang life around!

So now, in short, I have found a true perspective on food.
Food is not going to make me happy, long-term.
It's not going to help me be WHO I want to be.

So there it is.

And here I am.

I last week I reached 78.9kg (that's 174lbs)
Today 78.0 (after one week of health, 172lbs)

And here on this blog, I will document how I'm doing, why I'm doing, and definitely some family tips.
After all, healthy living with three kids is never easy!!!
I'm here to help those of you mum's who realise that your health IS important.
It's worth fighting for!

I hope you enjoy the journey!
And I hope you get inspired to make the ultimate decision.
Fight for your health!!!

About Me

I am a hard-working, mostly stay-at-home Mum of three beautiful children (boy 10, girl 8, girl 5). Dual American/Australian Citizen and proud to call Brisbane Australia my home for 6 years (my husband is an Aussie). My life has been up and down, dieting (or pregnant) since 1999.

In 2009 using this blog I had lost 20 lbs but put some it all back on by Jan '11.

Since then, I've been trying... and struggling... and trying... and failing.

Yo-Yo Dieting - at it's best.

Sad.

This year - 2012 -
I realised what I needed was a complete re-think of my life.
How much do I want it? Or is being fat okay for me?

You see - my youngest went to school - ALL MY KIDS AT SCHOOL?!?!?!?!!!!!!

Who the f am I?

I went back to Uni.

Fail. (Loooooooooooong story -don't ask, unless you have a while...)

NOW - I am LOVING LIFEEEEE!!!!!

NOW - I'm a swim teacher!
I teach children to save their life if the accidentally fall in.
And I teach children how to swim.
And I get to hang out with children when they are at their Happiest!
They're happy.
Cuz they're in the pool!!!
I LOVE MY LIFE (even though my skin is ITCHY!)

With much prayer, I put my trust in God to point me down the right path.
HE Always Does.
He worked on healing on my mind, my emotions, and my relationships.
He's now pointing me down a path of trust, action, consistency, peace, and success.
Join me in building a life of health and peace while raising a family.

"Good, better, best.... never let it rest... until your good is better and your better is your best!" 
Finding my best in God
It's all about perspective. PLEASE READ: Looking Ahead, by Jack Sh*t